“So how are you going to have sex?” was the first question Jon would entertain from men after they learned about his plans to travel and live in an RV. A question that many outside of the RV community wonder about as sex is a healthy part of life. It has been challenging as we live in close quarters with our children and park feet away from strangers also living in cardboard boxes.
The Challenges of RV Life
There are unique challenges to having sex in an RV. It reminds me of life back in the day of tribal living or one room homes like my grandfather grew up in. Somehow people kept having children and hopefully intimacy with each other. I think those days just got lost in time as we now have 3,000 square foot homes and kids each have their own room.
The two biggest concerns about having sex in the RV are noise and motion. Those were my concerns when we started RVing in 2011. Would the kids know? Would the neighbors see our rig having an earthquake?
Ten Tips From Full-Time Travelers
Here are ten of my favorite tips from travelers who live in RVs:
- Turn on ceiling vent fans, A/C, heater, or space heaters
- Turn on the radio, TV, or put in a movie
- Lay the same direction as the wheels and take down the wind chimes 🙂
- Use wheel stabilizers, jack stabilizers, and a king pin stabilizer.
- Outside sex is awesome
- Take it out to the van/truck
- Send the kids out with an older sibling (for snacks, arcade games, mini-golf, playground)
- Tell your kids you need mom and dad time.
- Install a hook and eye on your bedroom door.
- Be honest with your kids that you are going to be intimate. Sex happens.
And just for the record, people living in campgrounds are not staring at each other’s rigs. We’re not that boring. Read another point of view on the subject at Sex Outside the Suburbs.
Talking with My Kids about Sex
Now that my kids are teens I am learning to be more comfortable with talking about sex because I don’t want it to be a shameful thing for them. I had the conversation with our oldest teen as she was spending her evenings in the bathroom laughing and texting on her phone. Her quiet location was one sheet of cardboard away from my romantic evening.
“Honey. Can I talk to you about something. It is uncomfortable for me as I am just learning how to have these conversations with you. It is a little personal.”
“There are some nights where dad and I want to have some personal conversations, or have sex and it is really difficult when you are hanging out in the bathroom. I don’t want it to be embarrassing for you if you heard something you didn’t want to hear.”
“Do you want me to just tell you when we are going to have sex?”
“NOOOOOooooo.” She pushed away something invisible in the air towards me with her hands.
“What if I just tell you we need some space? That way we might just need space to talk or we might be needing time alone together and then you wouldn’t really have to know either way. Because sometimes we really do need to talk privately too. Does that work?”
“That sounds MUCH better. Sure.”
“Thanks honey.” I scrunch up my face. “Sooo, have you ever..um..heard us having sex before?”
“Oh, good. (sigh of relief) Anyway, I am open to talking about it again if you need to. Always open to talk.”
I took a deep breath. Relieved I had found a way to talk about sex in a healthy way that felt good and true to me. I don’t want sex to be something I lie about, avoid, or ridicule. Kids are smart. Kids will get their information somewhere whether or not I am the source. I know the strongest way for them to learn is by example, even if I am clumsy at first. That in turn gives them permission to be clumsy too.
The real secret to loving sex in an RV is to find what works for you.